A fat curling tale...

So I know that skipping school is wrong, and those who are stupid enough to get caught doing it (it takes finesse to know which doors aren't locked and a keen intelligence to plot a path that avoids patrolling teachers and hall monitors) deserve to be punished.
In my day, I skipped school at least twice a week, which was a difficult feat at the Catholic high school I attended because we were never allowed to leave campus and all the doors were always locked (because of Columbine) during the school day except for the one near the visitor center at the front of the school (which of course was monitored.) But, I never got caught. Though I did come close once, the school swimming coach becoming suspicious when he saw my friend and I leave through the gym and return fifteen minutes later with red eyes and placid faces.
"Where you been Maine?"
"Just had to get an assignment out of my car, coach."
He had his doubts, considering I wasn't carrying anything in my hands that would have validated that I had indeed retrieved something from my car. If he would have asked I would have said tampon or maxi pad and that would have shut him up. But there were no further questions, he just let us go back up to lunch.
But what if I hadn't just gone into the parking lot and sat in a car for fifteen minutes? What if, say, once I got into the parking lot I saw that the copper crucifix sculpture, standing erect in the middle of the school's lawn, was engulfed in flames and I came to the rescue by grabbing the fire extinguisher inside the gym and ruthlessly combated the flames, ultimately saving Jesus single-handedly, leaving only tiny marks on the sculpture, which no one minds because it gives it character and it's a good story to tell in the future...
2030:
"And this is our almost 100 year old Jesus-cross thing."
Oh's and ah's from the gathering crowd.
"Mrs. Featherbottom?"
"Yes Thor?"
"What is that black, ashy looking stuff on Jesus' upper thigh?"
"Well Thor, that is the only remaining scar from a terrible fire that
plagued this sculpture years ago, when a heroic student solely (or
souly, maybe in this case) saved Jesus' life."
More oh's and ah's.
"Um, Mrs. Featherbottom?"
"Yes Thor?"
"I thought Jesus was supposed to come back again by now and save all
of us...?"
"Not now Thor..."
etcetera...

So you would think in a scenario like the one above, where I save the flaming Jesus sculpture, and am therefore, due to the mass press such an incident would receive, discovered to have been skipping school that I would be pardoned of the traditional punishment in light of my heroic deed. Right?
Well, school officials in Seaside, California don't agree. A 15 year old girl was given a detention after she saved a load of elementary school children inside a runaway bus. Apparently, the driver fell out of her seat after making a turn (where was her seat belt?) and hit her head, impairing her. (Now, all my bus drivers, and I rode the bus for eight years, were fat and wore floral tent-dresses, so I am wondering how such a big person squeezed out enough to fall from a simple turn? Usually, their fat thighs are lodged underneath the steering wheel and no amount of impact could set them free. Or their thigh fat curls around the edge of the seat, sticking to the vinyl (kinda like this girl), thus also making it difficult to get up and out.) Anyways, she fell and the 15 year old jumped up and pressed on the brakes, saving everyone.
And they gave her a detention because she was skipping school. The 15 year old wasn't feeling well and left school, asking the bus driver for a ride. (Why isn't the bus driver getting any flack for this? Who lets a strange person get on a bus full of children?)
The teacher at the 15 year old's school said, "She is in trouble with school because she made the wrong decision. But I can't help but believe that she was where God wanted her to be."
So maybe if this girl was at my Catholic school she would have gotten off, claiming divine intervention. "God made me skip school to save those innocent children."
Alas, all things come back to the big man in the sky.