Stuff i did/mended whilst five degrees over normal bodily temperature...

Oh world! Thank you for welcoming me back to a normal state of health with open arms and beautiful january briskness!
While I was hallucinating and feeling feverish - living the American dream - a lot happened to me to make me realize that I was sick at the appropriate time!

1. I had burnt myself with my curling iron on the last day of my health. Right on the side of my neck - looks like a huge hickey (which I'm usually proud to show-off, but this one was just ugly.) BUT it has almost completely vanished now that I am better.
2. My face is completely cleared of any pimples that I had had before I was in bed for three days.
3. I managed to set up an interview, re-draft my resume, go to the interview and get hired for an internship at a well-known publishing house in Manhattan. I had at least 102 degree fever during the interview. Don't remember what I said or how I got home, but I know she hired me.
4. Some dude asked me to get drinks with him.
5. I was sick the entire time that Molly and Joey were gone in Chicago/Des Moines.
6. I bought this Bible for academic purposes: "The Women's Bible: Thou Art Loosed!"
7. I didn't smoke any cigarettes for five days!
8. I watched all nine episodes of "My So-Called Life" on Joox.

Pleasantly.

Regaurdless?

Last Thursday I was working, as usual, as a host at a restaurant in Murray Hill. One of my co-workers, a waitress from NJ, came up to my hosting podium (or my "cave" as the bar tender calls it. He tells me to go back to my "cave" when I prematurely ask for Jameson before my shift ends)holding her fancy sidekick, flippy, ultra-tech shit of a cell phone, frantically punching buttons at a speed I surmise to be quicker than her keyboarding skills. She just stands there until suddenly,the clicking noise stops. Then she looks at me and very genuinely asks in her heavy NJ accent that often blesses me with not being able to understand what she is saying, "How do you spell regardless?"
"Regardless?" I just wanted to make sure that she knew how stupid she actually was.
She nods, affirming her stupidity and making my night, so I continue, "r-e-g-a-r-d-l-e-s-s."
"Wait. r-e-g-u-r?"
"No. R-e-g-A-r..."
"R-e-g-a-u-r-d."
And then very slowly I tell her again, "r-e-g-a-r-d-l-e-s-s."
She nods and walks away.
(Now, when I apply for a position at publishing houses in a few months I will be able to honestly say that I have editorial experience.)

There was one time when I was driving from Des Moines to Chicago by myself in 2004 and I had stopped somewhere in Eastern Iowa to fill up on gas. Inside, I was waiting for my change from some clerk, when the other clerk walks up to the one who is helping me and asks her, "How do you spell pencil?"
"Oh, ummmm..."
I kept quiet. I just nudged my open palm a little in silent demand for my money and walked out of the store. I thought they could use something to grapple with to pass their shift away. I imagine that gas station got very few customers; so actually I was being quite generous, not to mention, obviously humble.

Last night I had a dream that the Spice Girls agreed to add me to their pop group as the sixth Spice Girl: "Kitschy Spice." God, sometimes my dreams kill me. So yeah, Kitschy Spice is super kitschy, you know, like has plastic Lisa Frank folders hanging all over her shit and wears ten foot pumps covered in British flag decals and has a gold tooth and all that kind of crap. I was disappointed when I woke up.

Oh and I am busying myself with reading the series of "graphic shorts" called "Optic Nerve" by Adrian Tomine. (the image of it is at the top) Medicine for my soul.
He has also been on the cover of the New Yorker...

A.M. Randomness Pt. I

When I awake in the morning, and lose remembrance of my beautiful dreams, it’s as if when I first sit up in bed, the thoughts of my slumber fall down through my body, and then disappear into the toilet with that first bathroom visit. To hold on to them, it seems I would have to be able to write them down while still lying in bed. (Jerry Seinfeld – I understand your frustration.)

Lately I have been sleeping in the clothes I wore during the day. The first time it was the entire outfit, socks and all, everything but my shoes. Last night it was just the top half of my outfit: a shirt, a hoodie and the scarf still around my neck from when I’d been in the wintry outside. Progress?
I think I do this to hold onto the memories of that day, because I know tomorrow will only put me further away from them.

Today is the first day in a long time that I didn’t wake up foggy from last night’s drinking. I’m afraid I don’t know what to do with myself in this specific state of mind.


Stay tuned for A.M. randomness pt. II