Things I would do if I were rich

1. buy expensive bourbon

2. live with other rich people who buy expensive bourbon so that there is always an unending abundance of expensive bourbon in the house

3. pay someone to change the litter box every day

4. continue smoking at my present (and desirable) rate and pace

5. see all theatrical 3D releases

6. extensive cable for the television (this should really be number one)

7. build a catio for my cat

8. buy expensive jams and maple syrup

9. laundry drop-off at least once every three months

10. install one of those seats in my shower so I can sit down when I take sips of my coffee and expensive bourbon

11. buy tasty coffee

12. subscribe to the most expensive netflix account